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the only place to read all of derek's journal entries since he started doing an online journal in 1996. grab a snack and a comfortable chair and enjoy.
/s/ derek

derek's journal

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october 15, 1996

Notes from the Road
tue 1:00 am
memphis, tennessee

memphis is my hometown. i was born here on may 27, 1974, and in the same hospital that elvis died in incidentally. i went to Christ methodist day school through the 6th grade. after that my dad's job moved us to houston, texas. i've only been back to memphis maybe two times since moving away, and seen maybe one of my friends from elementary school since. following my experience at Christ methodist, i went a half year at riverdale jr. high/high school. separating from my friends that i'd had for all of those years, and having to adjust to new people was really hard on me. i know that it sounds pretty freudian, but i had developed no skills in meeting people, so i totally dug myself into a hole there. i didn't know how to talk to people. ok, i'm gonna tell you something pretty embarrassing. as a child, i had a speech impediment. i pronounced all of my r's as w's. i basically sounded like a little kid for most of my young life. even long after speech therapy and my speech thing was fixed, i was still very self-conscious about it (especially since there is a big fat 'r' right in the middle of my name). for that reason, i was really apprehensive about saying my name to those who asked. i never had to say my name to anyone while i was in elementary school because we all knew each other. that made it even worse getting to riverdale and having to answer when people asked who i was. moving to houston came at the best possible time. after thinking about one day coming back here, i thought that i would finally be able to show them that i made something of myself. but that's not right. i've thought quite a bit about it, and that's no motivation. i wrote a song about it some time ago, and just thought about it again tonight, being back in memphis. this all might seem a little random, but i warned you. thanks so much for reading.

we're leaving in a few minutes for nashville. we're playing at caffe milano tomorrow night, which is also our warner alliance signing party. we're all very anxious to meet our new family at warner bros. should be an interesting day. please be praying that we don't get too star struck in nashville. (that's a joke actually). i'll write tomorrow and let you know how the whole ordeal went. thanks again for your prayers. just one more word about this song, instead of telling those kids my name at riverdale when they asked, i instead told them that i was 'chicken little,' and that the sky was falling. looking back, i can't think of a stupider thing that i could've said. no idea. this whole story was so similar to one that i'd heard as a child, that i couldn't help but make the parallel. i think that you'll get it.

take care-
derek

no blame

this place once was my hometown, i was born by yonder tree,
but it strikes me as funny how things turn out nothing like you thought they'd be,
you see when i was young i said some stupid things about an acorn and my head,
now these years later all these folks remember is my name and what i said.
now it's taken me years to live that down i still hear about it today
so as soon as i can learn to fly i'm gonna fly far far away.

my, my, my, how this place has changed as time's gone by
and these roads they respond to me, tell me so have i,
got to change my tune 'if they could see me now' 'cause that's just not the point no more.
the name was chicken little and the sky was falling so please don't ask my name,
you ask why you got to be that way and i say i've learned there's no blame.

grade school was a long time ago in germantown, tennessee,
kids can be cruel but kids will be honest, kids grow up eventually
and deal with the cards that they've been dealt, build houses and their pride,
and mock the sheep 'cause way down deep they know that they're all sheep inside.

my, my, my, how this place has changed as time's gone by
and these streets they respond to me tell me so have i,
got to change my tune 'if they could see me now' 'cause that's just not the point no more.
the name was chicken little and the sky was falling so please don't ask my name,
you ask why you got to be that way and i say i've learned there's no blame.

though that place is my hometown i am an outcast there
but i will make my pilgrimage a wiser bird for the wear
'cause i know that same tree exists and its rings have made it strong
and that there's a lesson waiting there of standing weather and finding calm.

my, my, my, how this face has changed as time's gone by
and this road it responds to me tells me so have i,
got to change my tune 'cause they've seen me now and that's just not the point no more
'cause the name was chicken little and the sky was falling so please don't ask my name,
you ask why you got to be that way and i say i've learned there's no blame