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the only place to read all of derek's journal entries since he started doing an online journal in 1996. grab a snack and a comfortable chair and enjoy.
/s/ derek

derek's journal

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october 7, 1996

Notes from the Road
mon 1:19 am
durham, north carolina

today was a great day of rest. we had two incredible home-cooked meals. i've rarely seen folks as hospitable as the folks here in durham. it's been a real blessing to be able to spend this much time here. a guy that i met via email named beau black asked if i could post the lyrics and talk about a song called 'almost gone.' the two of us talked a bit about it, and since i had some free time today i thought that i'd try and get to it.

the song was written over a year ago, following my taking a psychology course at houston community college. i basically knew just enough to be dangerous. i was thinking about how interesting it is that i find myself struggling with the same thing that paul struggled with in romans chapter 7. how relevant the bible is! i'm always thinking of what i want to do, and what i often know that i should do (or could do, i should say), but still i don't do it. it's very hard having memories of all of the things that i did before accepting Christ, and having those memories come up in time of temptation. there's a real tension in having the memories of a corrupt nature, but the authority that comes with a new nature in Christ. my problem lies in habit. i'm used to battling those things and losing, but i don't have to do those things anymore. as we all know, there is great freedom in Christ. it was within those thoughts that this song was written. it's been in our live set for at least the last year, but we opted to leave it off the new record (projected february release). we have already talked of putting it on the next cd project though. if you have further questions about the lyrics, please write me. i love addressing lyrical inquiries. we're playing tomorrow night in chapel hill, north carolina, at unc. it's going to be a more broken down acoustic set (even more acoustic than usual). i'm sure that i'll write following the show. many blessings on you wherever you are. thanks for reading.

almost gone

maslow told me years ago that i'd need twice tomorrow what i have today,
makes me wish i'd never had a bed to lay my head.
if i could have me i'd take You instead.
what's the use in having something if it belongs to me,
if i can put my hands upon it i'll never set it free.
many are distractions upon the road is wide,
many things to see lots of room to hide.

i will run from you (you'll have to catch me)
you can't run like me (you'll never catch me this time)
what a shame (it's all such a shame)

i don't miss you (i miss you)
leave me alone (come for me)
i'm almost gone (i'm still here)
i'm almost gone.

pavlov showed me years ago that my desires would be wet by just appearances,
makes me wish i'd never had a vice or i'd thought twice,
if i had to know Your words would suffice.
what's the use in knowing something if it's all in my head,
if i can think about it then i'll think it 'till it's dead.
many are assumptions in these hallowed halls,
the dirt tracked on the floor the days chalked on the walls.

i will run from you (you'll have to catch me)
you can't run like me (you'll never catch me this time)
what a shame (it's all such a shame)

i don't miss you (i miss you)
leave me alone (come for me)
i'm almost gone (i'm still here)
i'm almost gone.

now i am discovering that many small minorities,
join together pieces to become majorities,
all of us united we could change the world,
all of us divided we could change the world.

i don't miss you (i miss you)
leave me alone (come for me)
i'm almost gone (i'm still here)
i'm still here (do You hear me)
do you hear me (don't call me)
don't call me (beckon me)
beckon me (come for me)
come for me (i'm almost gone)
i'm almost gone

take care-
derek